While waiting in line at a convenience store, this woman, who obviously thinks she is hilarious, bursts in, and apparently recognizes someone and begins serenading us all at the top of her lungs. To the tune of Strangers in the Night, she sings, in a surprisingly good alto, these off color lyrics: Strangers in the night, exchanging rubbers. This one’s much too tight. Let’s try my brother’s.
That’s all the farther she got with this little gem before interrupting herself to focus her wonderful attention on me (who, I’m sure, was giving her a “teacher” look).
“Oh HEY!” she exclaims. “Are you pregnant?” And reaches over to touch my belly with both hands. This would not, not, be ok if I were pregnant.
I say, “No. I must just look pregnant.” Maybe I sounded too sarcastic, or maybe she’s just crazy.
She responded with, “See? Shoulda used a rubber!”
Even more loudly, I said, “BUT I’M NOT PREGNANT! It wouldn’t make any difference if I used a rubber or not, I’d still look like this!”
Everyone else waiting in line and the two cashiers were all too embarrassed to say anything. The crazy woman just wanders off, probably to see who else she can harass, leaving me with a minor complex and a really funny story.
How do you think I handled this encounter? What would you have done?