Strange Encounters of the Rude Kind

While waiting in line at a convenience store, this woman, who obviously thinks she is hilarious, bursts in, and apparently recognizes someone and begins serenading us all at the top of her lungs. To the tune of Strangers in the Night, she sings, in a surprisingly good alto, these off color lyrics: Strangers in the night, exchanging rubbers. This one’s much too tight. Let’s try my brother’s.

That’s all the farther she got with this little gem before interrupting herself to focus her wonderful attention on me (who, I’m sure, was giving her a “teacher” look).

“Oh HEY!” she exclaims. “Are you pregnant?” And reaches over to touch my belly with both hands. This would not, not, be ok if I were pregnant.

I say, “No. I must just look pregnant.” Maybe I sounded too sarcastic, or maybe she’s just crazy.

She responded with, “See? Shoulda used a rubber!”

Even more loudly, I said, “BUT I’M NOT PREGNANT! It wouldn’t make any difference if I used a rubber or not, I’d still look like this!”

Everyone else waiting in line and the two cashiers were all too embarrassed to say anything. The crazy woman just wanders off, probably to see who else she can harass, leaving me with a minor complex and a really funny story.

Proof that I do NOT look pregnant:

The shirt that I was wearing, however, does leave room for doubt:

How do you think I handled this encounter? What would you have done?

9 thoughts on “Strange Encounters of the Rude Kind

  1. Wow, I have no idea what I would have done. LOL, definately a blogworthy occurrence! Please tell me you did not have your kids with you. Cuz I would have been really pissed if they were if I were in your shoes.

    Did she by chance have pretty red naturally curly hair, lots of make up and a bit of a scratchy voice. That sounds completely like something a girl that used to work for me would have done. Man she was a little crazy… she’s refered to by all who used to work with her as “she-who-shall-not-be-named”

  2. OH me, that was hilarious, glad it happened to you not me, but I would have been giving her a teacher look too, you can bet, and good grief on her TOUCHING your belly!

    This was priceless. She’s probably doing a humanity experiment and searching the net for bloggers she might have offended into blogging about it…

    Just kidding!

  3. Yeah bizarre is the only word for it…

    I had to laugh, Dawn that you actually KNOW someone like this! No I did not have my kids with me, thank goodness, although they are young enough they wouldn’t have understood the song (I HOPE, although Little Miss Preschooler understands & notices more than I give her credit for sometimes)

    yeah M, If I ever run into that weirdo again, I should give her my blog address and tell her she’s semi famous-as a pycho 🙂 Haha–known by the tens of people who read me 🙂

  4. oh my goodness…you do not look pregnant at all. i think you handled the situation well. Obviously that lady has some issues…all you can do is pray for her!

  5. Anne says:

    Hey Jess- I would have said, “Can you sing solo? So low I can’t hear you!!” Or “Can you sing tenor? 10 or 15 miles away from hear!”

  6. AAAKK!! I prob would have said the same thing and stepped back. So rude! The rubber thing is unbelieveable! That made me laugh out loud. And who calls it a “rubber” anyway? lol

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