Regarding the Farm Fresh Family

(1)We really like our veggies.

The girls are having a snack while I’m doing the dishes. Suddenly, a sharp shriek pierces the peace.

I look over with my Mama face on, the one that says, “What the heck is going on over there?”

Two sets of big innocent eyes look up at me. The older one breaks the silence with a plaintive wail, “MAMA, she’s stealing my broccoli!”
(2)We kill things on date night.

Kevin and I went out on a date Saturday night. We went up to see Prince Caspian, which I enjoyed more than he did, and apparently, more than most people in the theater as I was the only one laughing at some of the quippy lines.

We got home to the big ‘coon stakeout. It wasn’t long before we saw eyes glowing at us in the darkness from behind the hen house. Pop! Pop! Pop! Kevin shot with his .22.

“Did you get him?” I inquire.

We went out to see. There, caught in our live trap and shot a couple of times, was a barn cat! Stupid cat. It’s its own fault really.
I go back in the house, because even though I was mad at the cat, I didn’t want to see Kevin have to put her out of her misery.

We had given up for the night, since usually with all that commotion the ‘coon would lie low. Kevin thought he’d go out and check things over one more time, and to make sure the cement blocks he’s used to block the door were still secure. We had been outsmarted by this ‘coon one too many times; we weren’t putting anything past the bad ol’ bandit.

“Bang!” I heard the roar of the shotgun this time, and a victorious whoop! Kevin came in to tell me the tale. He once again saw two eyes glowing in the darkness, and this time could make out a white stripe down the nose.

He shot a huge hole in the fence in the process, but he got that *&%^ ‘coon.

We’ll show him what happens to those who terrorize our chickens. Eventually.
(3) We take our kids to bars and teach them how to shoot pool. In a few years, they’ll be old enough to take wagers. Right?

(4) Killing things is a family activity.

Every time I pull out the fly swatter to kill a pesky fly, the baby runs up crying “Help! Help!” with a flyswatter of her own to assist in the deaths.
(5)We have an incredible sense of style.

(6)The most comfortable seat in the house is outside.

12 thoughts on “Regarding the Farm Fresh Family

  1. the veggie thing is so funny! Of all the things to argue about. LOL

    That poor cat! What a sad story all around! I love racoons. Too bad they are so pesky. Wish they’d stick to non living things and stay out of trouble. 🙁

  2. Pool is a good thing. I remember spending many hours in the basement with the pool table. Teach the girls how to play. Wish I could teach mine.

  3. Thanks for the card and the thanks!! I’m going to copy you, and take month-by-month pictures this pregnancy. I’ve never done that before, and I’m actually excited!

    re:#1 A friend of mine couldn’t stop laughing the day she overheard me say, ‘If you don’t finish your enchiladas, you aren’t getting any corn!’ My older two proceeded to cry and promise to eat anything, if only they could have corn. 🙂

    re: the raccoon. We’ve got several around here (for clarity’s sake they’re all named Billy), but we’ve only had one chicken fall to all the Billys (we’ve got a good coop with a very good lock). And that one chicken refused to go into the coop one night. And he was gimpy, and no one loved him. (Just trying to be honest!)

    When I told my dad what had happened, he said, ‘Yeah, more family chickens die from alcohol than anything else.’ Alcohol? I said. ‘Well, you know, you have a few beers, which makes you think you need a few more, and before you know it, you’re sloshed, and you forget to lock up the chickens that night, and a raccoon or bobcat or coyote gets in and eats them all.’

    I laughed like you wouldn’t believe when he tried to explain that to me. Because I have a feeling it’s very, very true!!!!!

    Hope y’all can get some new chickies soon, and some yummy eggs!


  4. What a fun post! Bravo on the “killing things” entries. Coming from the wife of a hunter, “you go, girl!” lol Man, do I wish my kids would just eat broccoli, let alone fight over it! argh. And, I’m glad you finally got the darn raccoon. Luckily, our two little chickens won’t be attacked by one of those, since they’re in the backyard with 3 dogs running around!! And, the outside picture is just beautiful. Great job!! 🙂

  5. We like veggies too, but I’ve yet to see my girls fight over them- and they usually fight about anything.

    I can’t even wrap my brain around the coon story- I’m a city girl born and bred who tolerates suburban living( yards and such)to give her girls “the good life”. 🙂

    pool? rack ’em up- their never to young to learn pool. 😉

    Love the last picture of them reading under a tree- how All-American Summer!

  6. What an awesome family! I wish MY kids fought over veggies! Judah is my veggie man – Eve, not so much. She’s like her Daddy.

    Tell Kevin – GREAT job on the coon killin’! You show ’em!
    My dad once shot a skunk that was living under our house IN TOWN, with a shotgun. Yeah, I don’t have any idea what our neighbors must’ve thought… 🙂


  7. You know, I think racoons are cute, but yeah, I certainly don’t want to be hanging around one…good thing Kevin got it! Do they steal the eggs or get the chickens?

    I just started this book by Barbara Kingsolver called “Animal, Vegetable, Miracle,” that I think you’d love….maybe you’ve already read it?

  8. My kids like broccoli for a snack too!

    I loved Prince Caspian, and how fun that you got to go on a date to see it! 🙂

    Congrats on killing the ‘coon. My dad has a couple that hang out at his house and steal whatever they can out of the trash cans. They’re brazen too…they’ll just sit and stare at you while you’re grilling or eating on his deck. I’m surprised they don’t just come pry the food out of our hands.

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