So you may wonder why I’m even bothering to post.
I’m not sure myself.
This morning I got to sleep in (sort of) until 9. I was nursing Brielle before 5, Aviana woke up at 5:50, so I got her a granola bar and some juice and headed back to bed. She quickly joined me and so I was smooshed between the girls like so much peanut butter between bread slices. Then Kevin got back from the paper route and Aviana went with him to go eat breakfast. Then Brielle started crying so I decided to go ahead and get up. (Beautiful sunrise by the way) My mom came down and took Brielle from me while I read the comics until she worked her way up to a fever pitch. We went back to bed and she fell asleep and I snoozed until Aviana came in to show her animals to me. Mom came and shooed her away and I fell back asleep. She came in later and I talked her into going to find something and she didn’t come back. Then at 9:10, Mom came in and said, “Don’t we need to leave at 9:30? It’s 9:10” So I got up for good.
Had a pretty revealing counseling session. She seems to think I’m ignoring a lot of my feelings and that has internalized into this depression. Hmmm. I always thought I was pretty much just “out there” and wore my feelings on my face, but maybe I’m not as open as I thought.
Lunch at my sister’s, played with her tiny (he’s too small to even get up on the couch)two pound dog (Oscar the long haired chiuahua–he looks like a hyper big eared rat running around in circles –but cute), and adorable girls. Stop at the grocery
to stock up for the weekend, we’re having my family (mom, dad, aunt, uncle, cousins, grandma sister & family) here for a couple days. Plus I was out of staples like sugar, flour, and Diet Mountain Dew. Home with the intention of scrapbooking during the girls’ naps, but since Aviana took forever getting to sleep and Brielle cried pretty much the entire time, that didn’t work out as planned. I read part of my new book –look on pg 296– and chatted with my mom.
We were going to go to the pumpkin patch but Aviana woke up cranky and Brielle was still cranky, so I gave up on that idea. I did get to eat dinner before pacing the floor with her, and she finally got calmed down enough to not be disruptive during my favorite show.
Now it is almost 11:30, Brielle has been sleeping for 2 1/2 hours and will probably want to eat as soon as I go to bed, and my poor DH will want some attention too. And I…I don’t know what I want.