I just finished reading Don’t Make Me Count to Three! by Ginger Plowman. I was nosing around on her website and found she has a no more whining kit. Good idea.
Her plan is pretty much this:
1-Tell your child you love them too much to speak like that.
2-Tell them they may come back and ask for whatever in a self controlled voice in three minutes. Set a timer.
3-Never give in to the whining!
You can hear more about it during this interview.
Whining really isn’t too much of an issue in our home (we have plenty of other issues to make up for it). My plan is simply this:
1–I don’t even answer the question or complaint. I stop them right there, looking into their eyes. I tell the child that whining isn’t a respectful way to speak to me. (I like self controlled voice better, so I think I’ll be switching to that.)
2–Sometimes I then talk to them in a hugely exaggerated whine so she can hear how it sounds, and how ugly it is.
3–I model a pleasant tone, and have them say what I want to hear in the pleasant tone. I then give exuberant positive feedback when they speak nicely, and respond to their request.
4–NEVER give in to the whining.