To say I had a frustrating morning would be understating it.
The Umpteenth time I was praying, preparing Aviana for her discipline, I just started bawling. She was a bit concerned, to say the least, turning around and looking up at me, “Why you cry for, Mama?” and then when Dada came home for lunch, tattling :-)on me, that I started to cry. She knows she needs to be spanked. I know she needs to be spanked. I know I’m being obedient and loving when I discipline her.
BUT I STILL HATE DOING IT!
I also have her stand in the corner, and sit on her bed, and take things away (like if she doesn’t share her toys, she doesn’t get to play with them for a day), and reward her (like if she picks up her toys when asked, I let her do something special like stamp with me). I’ve read Creative Correction. I’ve read Shepherding a Child’s Heart. I’ve read The Strong Willed Child.
BUT I STILL DON’T FEEL LIKE I KNOW WHAT I’M DOING!
I try to give her choices, both to foster her senses of self and her place in our family, and to minimize the tantrums she’s been ferociously throwing since before she was one–She still argues with me about every. little. thing!
“Do you want cereal or a granola bar?” “Dranola” So I unwrap it, put it on her plate, and she dissolves into tears, “NOOOOooooo not dis side, dat side!!” and flips it over!
“We’re having grilled ham and cheese for lunch. Would you like to help make it or have some broccoli in your chair?” Dissolves into tears. “NOOOO! I want mataroni and cheese!”
“Would you like to nap in our bed or your bed?” Dissolves into tears. “NOOOO! I’m not tired! Don’t wanna tate a naaaaap!”
BUT GIVING HER CHOICES DOESN’T HELP!
Is her goal in life to make me bananas? Is this payback for being a smart-mouthed kid? Is it all downhill from here? She’s only getting smarter, you know.
Why didn’t she come with a training manual? Why aren’t there chapters in the Bible called First and Second Childbehavians? Why did I get a child so… SO… LIKE THIS?
AND WHAT DO I DO?
I’m sorry you had such a frustrating day. No fast answers, but to say don’t be too hard on yourself. I think you do such a great job – Aviana really obeys nicely most all the time. You guys do such a great job. It’s hard, I know – it’s really hard to spank – it doesn’t seem natural. Even though it’s biblical. I pray you have a better day tomorrow! Love, Ruth
You are doing a wonderful job with a very srong willed child. take a deep breathe and God will always be there. It is worth it as i know and you are doing so much better than I did Love DAd
No answers, my love, but you really ARE doing just fine! A has her own set of challenges and God promises he will equip you to meet them and help her learn to deal with them. Keep leaning into his everlasting arms and trusting that every day, he is pouring out his unfailing love on each one of you!