I’m so … so… GRRRRR

I’m fully irritated with my darling children. I don’t know if it’s because I’m hot. Or because I’m hormonal. Or because I haven’t been getting enough sleep. Or if it’s because they’re just BRATS!

I think they are both overtired too. Aviana hasn’t had a lot of self control today. For example, she started SHRIEKING like she’d been stung by a wasp!

“What?! WHAT IS IT!?”

By the time she calmed down enough to speak, it turned out she was afraid Brielle had left her silly little Beanie Baby dog at the grocery store.

Right now Brielle is naked in her bed without any sheets on her plastic covered toddler mattress.

We were out and about this morning without a single accident; she told me she needed to potty every single time without fail. Upon arriving home the poo hit the floor. And her foot. And thighs.

And when naptime rolled around, she pee-peed in every single clean pair of training bundies I had. It was all a ploy to get out of bed, you see. She would pee-pee just enough to get to go to the bathroom, get cleaned up and sit on the potty. She never misses a trick.

She has been fighting naps and bedtime with every ounce of her being the past couple of weeks, and I am exhausted. Let me tell you, Super Nanny ain’t got nothin’ I haven’t tried. I can’t understand how she can fight sleep so bitterly, and still wake up bright eyed and bushy tailed at the crack of dawn. She’s at least an hour shy of the sleep a child her age supposedly needs.

I went outside to fill up the wading pool, and there I cried. I cried and wailed and my shoulders shook and I sobbed and generally felt sorry for myself. Oh woe is me. I have been blessed with not one but two extraordinary children, who happen to be exceedingly strong-willed.

Outside the breeze was blowing and God was speaking. He led me to the Psalms. From The Message(mine doesn’t have the specific verses marked, just the book and chapter):

I’ve cried my eyes out; I feel hollow inside. My troubles have worn me out, turned my bones to powder. Desperate I throw myself on You. You are my God! Hour by hour I place my days in your hand, I put my life in your hands. You won’t drop me. You’ll never let me down. Be brave. Be strong. Don’t give up. Blessed God! His love is the wonder of the world. Love God, God takes care of all who stay close to Him. (selected verses from Psalm 31.)

I think I’m restored enough to start dealing handily with my sweet girls when they wake. I think.

21 thoughts on “I’m so … so… GRRRRR

  1. Oh Jessica, I am so sorry for your rough day. I try and tell myself that the hard times are just “phases” these phases can only last so long and then they are gone, and well, on to the he phase.
    Hang in there, the things that make the girls so hard to handle right now will make them amazing women in the future. You can do it. You are a great mom.

    PS – Thanks for the cards, I got them the other day and they are wonderful.

  2. Awww! So sorry you are dealing with that! I love the Message. Glad it gave you some peace. enjoy the rest of naptime. Hopefully your son will be a laid back, eager to please, Mama’s boy! Praying for peace for you!

  3. I think all parents have days (weeks, months) like this. I have a very strong-willed almost 4 year old who can be the sweetest thing one minute, then take a turn into whiny-ville.

  4. I felt like I was reading about my week with my kids. I have an EXTREMELY strong willed daughter and my son is becoming more and more like that. There are many days where I feel like I am losing it. My husband has been working a lot so I feel like I am doing this all alone. My thoughts and prayers are with you!

  5. Hello! I just popped over to say hi (following your comment on Seattle Mom Blogs) and oh, do I feel for you!

    I have so been there so many times (like, everyday last summer)… I am glad you could find a sense of peace to re-enter the fray. Remember kindness, for yourself, too!

    I am SLOWLY SLOWLY learning skills to soften things when all I really need is a (true) break that is not forthcoming.

    Blessings to you and yours — peace.

    And yes, people do call me Stace! 😉

  6. I’m so sorry…I know how that is. There are just days, moments, minutes that we wish would be different. I’m glad you were able to find comfort!

    And thanks for your comment on my post about our fire…and no, I never got to pee until about 5 hours later. (I forgot until then.)

  7. Hi Jessica, I hear you girl. Just try to hang in there. I raised my grandaughter,who turned 20 yesterday and is the mom of my first great-grandchild-Sweet Emily. When she was a little girl I often sang this song about her-“There was a little girl that had a little curl right in the middle of her forehead. When she was good she was VERY VERY good but when she was bad she was HORRID!” Your girls are very blessed to have a good mommy like you and so don’t worry they are going to turn out great. You just wait and see.
    God Bless you,

  8. I just read a good parenting book that might offer you some solutions. It is called “How To Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk” by Adele Faber. It is older, so it should be at the library or cheap on the internet. It is super practical and offers a combination of my favorite parenting perspectives.

  9. Oh dearie! I hope that you have a refreshing and relaxing weekend. I’ve had days like those, “Mama said they’ll be days like this, days like this…” OK, enough of my singing. I think it is wonderful that you stopped and spend time in the Word when you were frazzled and at the end of your rope.

  10. Anonymous says:

    I totally understand how you’re feeling. You’re definitely not alone. Don’t stress about the sleep – the number of hours is usually an average, and my kids have always been short on that too. If she’s waking up happy, she’s likely getting enough. All my children quit taking regular naps by 2 1/2. Otherwise, they wouldn’t go to bed at 7:30. Hang in there.


  11. Mama said there’d be days like this…

    I have SO been there. There were some really tough days when I was pregnancy with Eliza. The third time around is just exhausting and kids have a sense of when you are at your weakest, I think 🙂

    I hope you had a better afternoon and today is as wonderful as this day was bad.


  12. Jessica,
    This sounds so very familiar. I had so many of these breakdowns when I was pregnant with my daughter and would get fed up with my 3 year old son. I just couldn’t understand what had happened . . . did he turn into a monster overnight? I felt like I had failed as a mother and he would never be the sweet little boy he once had been.

    The good news is that he is back to being the sweet little boy just a bit older (4) and smarter. Looking back I think he could sense that things were about to change, he wanted to see how far he could test me, and I was extremely hormonal. I think pregnancy (at least for me) stirs up all kinds of fears and questions about my mothering abilities.

    From what I read, I think you are an inspiration. I don’t know how you do it all and keep those girls so entertained with fun activities AND you’re pregnant. It sounds like you are a great mom!

  13. I’m so sorry you’ve had a hard time with your kids lately. I can completely empathize. Sometimes I have to take it minute by minute!

    Hang in there!

  14. I am not a mom yet so i can’t really say i understand how you feel. but while reading, i felt sorry for such rough day. am glad though that you shared this post. isn’t it amazing how God talks to us through the Bible. He has ways indeed to reach out to us and convey that He’s just there. God bless 🙂

  15. I recently found your blog and completely sympathized with this post. I have an almost 20 month old and am preggy with daughter number 2. Oh how I love my strong willed toddler, but I do pray the next daughter is a little more compliant! You give me lots to look forward to! 🙂
    Lately, every day I’m adding up the hours of sleep my daughter is getting and she too is coming up short. So stressful! But I’m sure they’ll survive (and so will we).

  16. Oh boy do I have those days! And I really do have a hormonal issue so I have to tell myself over and over, “They’re just kids. You’re a great mom. They’re just kids. You’re a great mom.” I’m NOT kidding. I really have to do that.

    And she’s definitely testing her limits with the potty. Just be consistent and don’t let her get under your skin! You CAN do this!!!

  17. Thank you for sharing your struggle of the day. I had a day like that yesterday as the baby wouldn’t let me put him down and my 19 month was practicing Extreme Tantrum: Home Version for hours and my emotions are raw because my husband is deploying in four weeks and yesterday I didn’t know how I’m going to manage while he’s away. Thanks for the verses, Psalms is just the best when I’m out of sorts but I honestly didn’t even have the strength to pick up my Bible yesterday. Blessings!

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