I’m afraid

I’ve been fretting.

I’m over the morning sickness now –thank You God– but this week I had a horrible cold that made me cold and achy and my head was too heavy to hold up. Literally. I couldn’t even go to MOMS group, like, my favorite thing. AND, it was craft day.

Aviana is stretching my patience in all manner of new trials.

Brielle is taking pestering and tormenting her sister (and thereby, me) to whole new levels.

Cadrian is in the throes of toddler hood exhilarating exploration during which he leaves a swath of destruction behind him acres wide.

As Aviana so aptly described today, “Mama tan’t turn her back for a minute and the house is a disaster!”

And this belly is way too big for someone only 14 weeks along. I am never going to be thin again. Never.

HOW am I going to be able to handle another baby? WHAT were we thinking?

Am I doing well enough with the ones God has already entrusted me?

I’m afraid I may be in over my head.

7 thoughts on “I’m afraid

  1. You are a WONDERFUl mother, Jessica! Don't fret, you will do great with 4, just like you do great with 3 now. God will give you the wisdom, patience and strength when you seek those things. Aviana, Brielle and Cadrian will all be a bit older and more mature by the time the baby gets here anyway so that will help, too. Praying for you! Love ya, sista!

  2. You are doing a great job with those beautiful kids. I've been there, pushing the shopping cart holding three kids while my belly was too big to bend down tie my shoes. I've seen the looks that I interpreted as, "Why in the world would she have another one when she can't handle the three that she has?" Oh, I've been there. But now the baby is 4, and I'm still not skinny, but we're a family. It will all work out, and it will be exactly how God has planned it.

    Hope you're feeling better soon!

  3. I know EXACTLY where you are at! I know you can do it. I know how hard it is to really believe that when you are in the midst of it all though. I am praying for you:) AND I know you will be able to be thin again.

  4. I know EXACTLY where you are at. I know you can do it. I know it is hard to believe that when you are in the midst of it though. AND I know you will be able to be thin again. I am praying for you:)

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