Please tell me I’m not alone here.
Kevin is a farmer. He talks to no one but himself for most of the day.
I am a stay at home mom. I talk to my children and am surrounded by childish chatter all day long.
Kevin is an introvert. He is happiest by himself, or with just the family, or on an infrequent basis, small groups of good friends.
I am an extrovert. I like to be with big groups of people. Small groups of people. Talking to people on the phone while I’m in the car or doing the dishes. Going about my regular life with people.
Kevin feels cranky after an evening of our kids running around with someone else’s kids. Sometimes, he even feels cranky when it’s just our kids running around.
If they are not being disobedient, I love the energy of kids.
Kevin gets done with an evening like that, where the parents are trying to talk and the kids are ‘around’ but not really being bothers, and he’s wiped out.
I finish an evening like that and feel energized and can’t go to bed until several hours later.
Kevin doesn’t talk in big groups. He talks a lot with me, but ONLY IF it is the right time. If he is not in his “talking mindset”, fuggidaboudit.
I like to talk. I could be characterized as a talker. Someone who talks a lot. I talk with my family. I talk with my friends. The people in line with me. The people behind the counter. Sometimes, I even talk to people in elevators!
I don’t understand why he doesn’t like to throw parties.
He doesn’t understand why I like to.
I don’t understand why he thinks it’s a lot of work.
He doesn’t understand why it pays off for me.
There is so much I don’t understand. I love him dearly deeply madly passionately, I respect him immensely and think he is amazing in every capacity and I DON’T UNDERSTAND him and it drives me crazy.
Probably, there’s a reason for this.
Complete opposites ;). They say opposites attract. Maybe that’s why we don’t get our husbands most of the time.
A very good friend of mine is married to someone who is a lot like me and sometimes I think I get him more than my own husband. And my good friend is like my husband so I think he gets her more than he gets me most of the time. Somehow we make it work though.
I don’t think we’d actually want to be with someone like ourselves. It maybe shows us more of our own faults and the things we don’t like about ourselves. I’m more down to earth I think and my husband more spontaneous. And I think we both need that about each other. I bring him back to reality sometimes and he allows me to be more free other times. It’s like we bring out the best in each other.
My oldest daughter is a lot like me. Now of course I love her dearly, but there are things about her that drive me crazy and I know it’s because they are things I’d like to change about myself. So if I was married to someone just like me we probably would have divorced a long time ago ;).
You’re not alone! But my husband and I are the opposite 🙂
*J* is much more the extrovert and I get a bit maxed out with all the social stuff. (Unless it’s my close girlfriends of course, but that’s another story)
I often wonder too why God allows people who are such complete opposites to meet and fall in love. I suppose we balance each other out nicely?
I am not sure if there is a particular reason for this or not, but, but I can say that my husband and I face the very same issue. I could talk to anyone, anywhere. My husband on the other hand would rather pretend other people did not exist rather than to talk to them. Same party, visitors issue. I love having people over to my house and my husband just wants to crawl under the bed and wait to come out until they leave. I can truly say I feel your pain.
Oh, dear, you are SOOOO not alone! As a matter of fact, I was just lamenting this last week! I was listening, on the phone, to my mother telling me all about her tree trim party the last weekend, and feeling a little sad (and jealous!) that I can’t have any kind of party! Nicky is wonderful, but so darn “antisocial”! (Not truly, but you know what I mean.) When I ever have parties, he always makes himself scarce, unless it’s for his birthday! Argh! I don’t have an answer, only sympathy. lol
I am more like your husband. Those kind of things just exhaust me, even if I enjoy being with friends=) But my husband on the other hand is so laid back he doesn’t even realize what’s going on around him. I love seeing how God balances us out=)
I always say when I get to heaven I am going to have a long list of why’s for God regarding husbands. I always get frustrated because I feel that no one knows my husband and how funny he can be etc. because he’s usually like that only in front of me. But then on the other hand I kind of like it that only I know him (I know I’m crazy). When I’m in a good mood and can look at it objectivly I say I’m sure that he will have a long list for God too but most days I just wonder what is wrong with him 🙂
You just described me and my husband. Although he isn’t a farmer. He is a guy who spends al day having to talk to people at work. When he gets home he is done talking which doesn’t make me, an extrovert, very happy.
Today is Friday and he might be ready to talk by Sunday afternoon. Maybe, if I’m good and don’t try to pull him into conversation before then. And yes asking what he wants for dinner is considered conversation.
HAHA. THIS IS SO FUNNY. IT WAS LIKE SOMEONE WRITING ABOUT MY HUSBAND AND ME. LOL HE IS A PASTOR, SO HE SPENDS LOTS OF HOURS ALONE IN HIS OFFICE. I CRAVE PEOPLE AND CONVERSATION!! NO, YOU’RE NOT ALONE!
Oh the spontaneous thing! Don’t even get me started. I rarely think before I ACT(within reason) and Kevin thinks it through before he even talks! It works out though, because he rarely screws something up since he’s a measure twice, cut once kind of guy. Me, I’m all, measure?
I’m a complete extrovert. Hubby – an introvert. Yes, it’s funny how it works! My best friends though are usually more introverts too – opposites must attract!
I saw your story in Country and decided to check out the blog. How fun and refreshing!
Three words: For Women Only
What is it: a book that changed my marriage
Why: I finally GOT IT
Plea: go get it today…well, in your case, ORDER it on-line today!
Merry Christmas!