How many times do I have to tell you?

I glance in the rearview mirror to see Aviana mouthing a big round grey thing.

“Are you licking a rock?”

“What’s a woct?”

“What’s in your hand?”

“A woct.”

“Are you licking it?”

Sheepishly, “Yes.”

“We don’t lick rocks!”

13 thoughts on “How many times do I have to tell you?

  1. We have it down to a science in this house:

    Me: We don’t eat (insert whatever random object makes absolutely ZERO sense going into her mouth)! What’s the ONLY thing that goes in our mouth?

    MH: With a big sheepish grin “Food and my toothbrush!”

    It’s getting better. I think.

  2. We have a similar phrase around here. It goes like this:

    “EVELYN GRACE STEWART!!” (usually shouted from the porch, to the general direction of one of the big patches of sand that’s showing through the grass) “STOP EATING DIRT!!!!! WE DO NOT EAT DIRT!!! YOU COULD GET SICK AND DIE IF YOU KEEP EATING DIRT!!! WORMS WILL START LIVING IN YOUR BELLY!!!!!”

    “But I don’t want worms to live in my belly!”

    “Then would you please STOP EATING THE DIRT!!!”

    Lather, rinse, and repeat the next day. 🙂

    And yes, I know that technically, they aren’t zombies. It doesn’t mean they don’t frighten the bejeezes out of me. I like the old zombie movies, when they would just stick out their arms and drool and gurgle ‘gghawnannnanannnnnnnnnn’ and stagger to try and eat you. Now, with all the stupid CGI, the zombies are fast!! Who ever heard of fast zombies?!?!? Even ‘Shaun of the Dead’ scares me, after watching the new ‘Dawn of the Dead’. And if you haven’t seen Shaun of the Dead, please do. It’s bleeping funny. And there’s lots of bleeping, just FYI.

    I ended up going back and watching the rest of the movie with John, choosing to selectively hide my head in his side under a pillow, asking, ‘Can I look now?’ I guess I liked the ending. Well, I liked the idea of the ending, with him seeing the butterfly and sacrificing himself and all, but it was just so abrupt. I wanted a little more, like what all happened when she got to the compound, how many people were there, and what happened with all the non-zombies (thank-you-very-much) after they got the cure/vaccine/whatever it was, and how the people would have got all of them. Did they have to start over with just themselves? Were the not-zombies too far gone for it to take effect? Were there people from other continents, or was Will Smith the last black person ever to live? 🙂 (John’s question, not mine, lol!!!)

    Ha! Now I have the longest post!! 🙂 I’m just glad I have friends out there in the interweb world who can help me with these pressing, weighty issues. And I’m glad my kids aren’t the only ones who eat weird stuff.


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