One of the many books I turn to time and time again is “How to talk so your kids will listen and listen so your kids will talk”. One of the suggestions they make is to write notes to your children.
The other day, Brielle wanted to make brownies SO bad, but I had a whole list of other things I needed/wanted to do during Elivette’s naptime. I compromised with her, being available to the inevitable constant interruption to my trains of thought, and let her go ahead. I felt like this was a big sacrifice for me. She assured me she would not leave the kitchen a mess. Big sister got in on the deal a bit too. The brownies got made–which, they turned out a lot like dough, so I don’t know exactly what happened there, but as we’re fans of brownie batter, we’re calling it a success, but the kitchen DID not look good.
I even said, 45 minutes before they had to leave for Good News Club, “If the kitchen doesn’t get cleaned up, I am going to be furious!”
AND…
It was crazy. The act of writing the note diffused my frustration. I was able to let it all go as I did it. I would have normally fumed about it, and when they got home hours later, possibly been even more ticked off, lectured them, yelled, flown off the handle at something else because I was still mad about this. It HELPED SO MUCH!!
And I got this response:
She doesn’t deserve to be yelled at.
(and there WERE brownies.) (Well, brownie batter.)
Good for you! I wish I would have put this kind of response into practice when mine were little. It's never too late, though, thankfully! 🙂
Thanks so much for sharing about your journey with gentle parenting…I feel like we're starting to try to move in that direction, too. Reading your posts is SO encouraging and challenging for me. Thank you, again.