The Drama Queen Gene

I don’t know where they got it, but I’m sure it wasn’t from me!

What can I do to help my sweet Aviana cope better?

It’s gotten so bad, I just say “Stop. Crying.” in a firm fierce voice before I even find out what happened.

Yesterday I didn’t even turn to look at her when she erupted; I automatically gritted my teeth and calmly and fiercely told her to stop crying, and it turned out she had pinched her finger in the door.

She cries dramatically so often and for no real reason (unless her loving dada serving her cocoa in the “wrong” cup is a reason), I can’t even discern when the wailing is warrented.

Brielle’s almost as bad, but she’s two. I have to give a lot more grace because of that.

But I’ve been dealing with Aviana’s drama since before she was two, and frankly, I’m out of genious.

We’ve tried: Sending her to her room to calm down, giving her quiet time right away, making her go out on the porch to scream, giving her extra snuggles, holding her through it, making her get her self-control before we listen to the problem, praising good behavior, offering choices, redirecting her, giving her plenty of time and forewarning when ‘change’ is approaching, creating routines, reassuring her…

We’re consistent and don’t let her have what she wants when she wails because she didn’t get her way.

Please tell me you have some tips–or at least that this will end… Someday!

14 thoughts on “The Drama Queen Gene

  1. Sounds like you are doing everything just right. I’d keep sending her to her room to let her calm down until she’s ready to talk and tell you what’s the matter. Well, unless you can clearly see that she’s hurt or something of course. I think the important thing is to make it clear that when things don’t go her way that talking about her feelings instead of erupting is the best thing to do. Once she’s calm let her tell you what’s wrong and then if it’s daddy gave me the wrong cup for my hot cocoa model a better way for her to get a reaction from daddy so he can “fix” the problem. I’d like to say this will pass soon and it probably will, but then will get replaced with stamping feet, slamming doors, and rolling eyes. Each age has it’s own little quirks. It probably gets better when they have kids of their own ;).

  2. Hi Jessica, you are talking to an old hand at this type of behaviour….I endured it for 2 yrs its started at 15mths and tapered off around 3 and a half; but only because I re-discovered (and freshly understood) my child with the help of a book called Raising Your Spirited Child by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka. I cannot recommend it highly enough; my only regret is that I didnt read it sooner! Good luck – parenthood is hectic. I was(almost) in your position 2 yrs ago with 3 kids under 5…not a picnic…especially with drama queens in the ranks. (I have 2 queens and a little hooligan too!)

  3. Been visiting your blog for a bit now. I think I came over from Sgt & Mrs Hub. I feel for you!!!

    I've had similar problems with my son (whining, not crying). I've tried a few things: Talking to inanimate objects (bananas, stuffed animals, my hand) or our pets instead of him.

    "Oh hello Mr. fish, Do you hear whining? You do? So do I. I can't respond to whining. But if Samuel would talk to me in his big boy voice then I can help him with.."

    He really gets a kick out of it and it often adds a bit of humor to the situation. It doesn't work all the time, but it's worth a shot.

    I've also made story books over situations that are certain to bring on the annoying behavior. The books should explain what is expected of the child or how to behave over new situations, etc. I make a simple book using clip art, he colors it in and then we read "his" book together each day for a week or so. This helps get the expected behavior in to their little heads in a non direct way.

    Hope this helps. Hang in there. I don't think any child cried forever!!!

  4. I'm not sure when it will end but it will get at least somewhat better. My 6 1/2 year old boy still sometimes acts like this. At least he doesn't do it as often as he used to. I'd say to keep consistent with what you're doing – sometimes it takes a long time for discipline tactics to work. We mostly have our boys go to their rooms if they can't quit crying. I'd love to hear if anyone else has good tips.

    Amy (mom to 3 boys: 6, 5 & 2)

  5. Sorry…I’ve got nothin’
    But if it makes you feel any better we have the same little girl living in our house. I had this fantasy when she was two that she would outgrow it, but now at four I’m beginning to see there may be no end to this craziness.
    I’m not sure if the dramatic crying or the whining is worse…I just try to be thankful it’s only one out of three;)

  6. My children are Joshua (15), Caleb (12) and Hannah (8) and she is the specialist drama queen although the middle one sure can scream if here are spiders involved. All I can say is they do outgrow it – eventually. Mothering is hard and you seem to be doing a fantastic job so keep up the good work…

  7. What about making a “no-tantrum (or whatever you call it) jar” and tell her that if she can control her anger/fits and calm it right down, you will put a quarter (or whatever denomination you want) in the jar….and if she keeps up the good behavior she can buy something. Yes, it is a bit of bribery, i guess…but it also a way for to “work” for it too…

  8. Hi Jessica. I’ve been reading your blog for a little while now, and I enjoy it very much. It’s always entertaining to read.

    I have been in your shoes. I had 3 children under the age of 4 also. They are now 15, 12, and 11, two boys and a girl. I will always remember the words of my grandma, who was an Iowa farm wife, when I was complaining to her one day about everyday life with 3 little kids. She told me “These are the best days of your life – when your kids are little.” And she was right, as grandmas always are! Don’t get me wrong, my life is very good these days, too. I am so proud of all 3 of my kids. I am enjoying watching them grow into young adults and watching their future and getting glimpses of the people they will be one day, but oh…… what would I give for one more day of them 10 years ago at 5, 2 and 1. To hear my oldest with his speech difficulties, and I was the only one who could understand him! My middle child, who was very high needs, but so sweet and kind and that smile of his! My little baby girl – just to hold her and nurse her one more time, to sing to her and just kiss, kiss, kiss, that sweet little head with hardly any hair! All those fingerprints on the windows and doors. All the toys strewn all over. All the picture books we used to read. Blue Clues and all the rest.

    Time goes so fast. One day you’ll turn around, and your children will be young women and men, and you’ll wonder how you got here from there. So my advice is keep on doing what you’re doing, pray for patience, and most of all cherish these days – they go by very quickly and are priceless.

  9. We have the drama queen gene going on at our house too. I’m chalking it up to being four and a girl. Not that that makes it any easier, but it’s probably just a peek at what the teenage years will be like 🙂

  10. Jayden is prone to dramatic behavior and oh boy she’s 18months and thinks she’s quite the little diva. She bites and tantrums like mad and poor Trevor takes the brunt of it. I caught a glimpse of what was coming the day she was born when she pouted out her lower lip like a teenager and let out her first wails.

    Trevor warns us when she’s throwing a tantrum and we put her in time out, “She gonna bite you!!!” and he knows from experience.

    No words of encouragement because I’m not quite where you’re at but I’ll remember this post and look back on it for advice in a year or so!

    @Maria… thanks for the perspective, you’re post makes me hug my babies closer. Brought tears to my eyes!

  11. Felt like I was reading about Elaina! She is exactly this way. Cries over everything and nothing. Whines constantly. DRIVES ME ABSOLUTELY NUTS!

    I feel so bad for how I react but I can only be so patient before I snap. “Elaina, knock it off! You need to just chill out.”

    Of course she doesn’t know what the heck that means! *SIGH* Let me know if you ever find something that works!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *