Better day

K and I talked a bit about last night, but I’m still afraid to actually talk to him. It always turns into a who was right/who was at fault conversation, when all I ever want is for him to validate that I’m upset and see that he hurt my feelings. He came in to help me get the babies out the door and to tell me that his dad wants to farm again next year. Corn prices are at an all time high, so he wants to get in on that. He’ll still expect Kevin to do everything but combine it, even though he’s “farming it”. Kevin’s going to be at retirement age before he ever gets to farm on his own.

The girls and I went to the church where we have MOPS and prepped crafts for the Moppets for next semester, and got our Thanksgiving baskets ready to deliver to less fortunate families. I got to talk with a lot of different people and get to know some of my MOPS friends even better.

It was nice enough to go to the park today, so a few friends and I bundled up and had a picnic lunch. We were outside in the sunshine for over an hour before we got too cold. We had some fantastic conversation, and I felt pretty much normal (even though my counselor says I wouldn’t know my feelings if they hit me in the face :-)).

Aviana was tired and whiny/tantrumy almost all morning, until we left, at the park a little bit, and then at home until she fell asleep. I handled it well. Then as a wonderful reprieve, woke up from her nap in a good mood. We made some hot chocolate with marshmallows (little ones for her, big ones for Mama), and looked at her pictures and videos on the computer. She loves to see herself and talk about what she was doing. Her favorite videos are the one where she’s “naughty” and the one where she’s throwing waterballoons.

Kevin came in around five (early) and we ate early. I was thinking of going to the gym, but wanted to be sure Brielle wouldn’t need to nurse. So we acted like I was gone, and he did everything for the girls. She lasted a little over an hour (she always nurses more at night), so I might be ok to go work out for a half hour or so in the evenings. We’ll have to actually try it sometime. I’m just nervous that if she screams the whole time, he’ll never let me go without her again. Even though they have child care, it is still a huge treat to be able to go somewhere alone.

Now I can’t decide if all the picture looking earlier put me in enough of a mood to scrapbook, or if I just want to go to bed.

One thought on “Better day

  1. DAd says:

    Well I’m caught up and it is 1202 AM can’t sleep but tired. I have been praying for you guys and will continue. God knows all and you are in His hands I love you am very proud of you. You are a beautifull young woman and mother of two kids that keep you a hopping. God bless and enjoy life. get out and enjoy the sun, (Son) God is good Love Dad

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