Saw my midwife today, and everything checked out ok. The one I saw today was “B”. She was the one who labored with me from the time I got to the hospital at around midnight, until her shift ended at 7ish in the morning, with Brielle not making her appearance until 9. BUT she did not remember me. I understand on one hand how they have so many moms, and I did almost all of my pre-natal appts with “K1” another one of the three midwives in the practice, and “K2” was the one who actually delivered my baby, but I was still disappointed and saddened that she didn’t remember me. I did all that long, long night of work in her presence, and she didn’t remember me. I had all that exruciating pain and the bitter disappointment of asking for an epidural, and she didn’t remember me.
On top of that, I don’t know WHOSE records are in my file because when I mentioned how it was hard that my expectations of labor didn’t match the reality, (I was thinking labor would be a lot better than it was), B said “oh, it must have been a tough four hours” WHAT???!!! Try 19 hours of active labor and two days worth of prodromidal labor. And incidentally, those seven hours in the hospital before I got the epidural? Only dilated me one centimeter. Yep, that sucks.
Ok back to today: B did agree that I have some PPD, and we don’t want me to be on anti-depressants, so she referred me to a counselor. Hmmm. Doubt our insurance will cover that.
On the bright side, everyone who saw Brielle today deemed her absolutely gorgeous. Well I think so too.
Here’s what’s true. I remember. Kevin remembers. Brielle remembers. You remember. God remembers.