I never knew what a privilege it would be to drive somewhere by myself!! The weather was cold and rainy and generally nasty. Kevin decided to do some work inside, and got Aviana down for her nap, and Joyce wanted to keep Brielle for me. I went to visit a friend and to the gym. Alone.
The car was silent. I didn’t have to reach over the back seat to try to comfort a fussy infant or hold the pacifier that doesn’t work anyway in her mouth. I didn’t have to answer “What’s that?” “Why?” “What’s that truck doing?” or sing any songs on demand. No one was talking. No one was crying. I was alone!
When the Christmas traffic was stop and go for well over a half hour, I didn’t get all tense, worrying that Brielle would start crying or Aviana would start whining, “WANT OUT! Want out of your seat! WANT OUT!” I didn’t have to think about trying to calm the baby or the toddler, while paying attention to the traffic, and avoiding a rear end collision (like I didn’t once at a stop light, when I was trying to find the pacifier and my foot slipped off the break). Even though it took almost 45 minutes to get across town (a trip that is usually ten), I felt… carefree.
Even getting out of the car by myself was a rare and special treat. I didn’t have to carry anyone or unbuckle anyone. I was able to just get out and walk away!
As a mom with two small wonderful girls, I am never alone. Someone is with me when I sleep. Someone or more usually two someones, are with me when I am in the bathroom. Even when I shower when Kevin is home to keep the girls, someone is banging on the door, hollering, “Let me in, Mama! I want to Sow-Ah TOOOOOOO!” Even when both are asleep at the same time (and no one is in my arms), I am still on full alert, always listening for someone to wake and stir.
But today, I was alone!